We love to connect with others to support, educate, and prevent trauma. It's true, some people are traumatized by their adoption experience. In dealing with sensitive matters, we've created these guidelines to help us moderate safe environments for everyone.
We are a community of concerned individuals, touched by the loss associated with adoption. We have developed a set of guidelines which help keep us safe and help our members feel supported and find resources as we strive to move forward together in a healthy way. Please always be respectful of our community and the feelings and opinions expressed within.
The spirit of our community is one of compassion, empathy, empowerment and growth. You have a unique opportunity while you are here to work on your own healing and recovery, and also to offer encouragement and understanding to others who are all in different stages of the learning or healing process associated with adoption loss.
Who We Are Not:
We are neither medical nor mental health professionals. CUB is not intended as a substitute or replacement for therapy, counseling, or professional mental health services.
Topics of Discussion:
All comments should relate specifically to your personal relationship and experience to the original post. This is not a forum to attack, provoke, insult, threaten or intentionally attempt to emotionally trigger an individual member, or group of the adoption triad or constellation.
The forum is not to be used as a personal blog, journal, social networking site or for giving and receiving off-topic support or advice. Humor, artistry, discussion on timely news or social media topics are welcome, however, excessive off-topic posts and comments will be removed and the member asked to move to a more appropriate forum.
Please respect our readers by not posting the same thing in multiple threads. Multiple copies or slightly modified copies of the same post are not permitted.
Our individual thoughts, ideas and feelings are important to each of us. However, please try not to "hijack" the threads of others. Comments should be targeted to the subject matter introduced by the original post. Conversations within a thread will often evolve and develop, and this is a healthy process that can help members come to a deeper understanding of the topic at hand and other members of the adoption constellation.
Please consider your words carefully and your audience before you post a comment.This is a unique place where people who may live in places of extreme isolation can connect, simply by the sharing of words. Anger and frustration at your own situation is to be expected at times. However, anger and frustration expressed towards other members can be counter-productive. We at CUB prefer to channel our angry energies toward adoption reform, preservation of family, advocacy for birth family and adoptee rights. Disagreements will happen. Speak to others as you would wish to be spoken to, and offer your comments in a respectful, constructive manner. All members must respect the opinions of others and recognize diversity as part of the learning and healing process.
Do not intentionally goad or insult other members. Flaming other members or inflaming an already volatile thread is not allowed. Mocking or name-calling of another member has no place here, and should not be used when speaking of a person suffering from adoption related trauma.
You are encouraged to describe situations and behaviors you may have dealt with. You are asked to refrain from profane, derogatory name-calling or blanket statements and generalizations of people or groups which does little in the way of resolving problems and tends to alienate or dehumanize, particularly when used in a general context.
Moderation of the Board:
This is a moderated forum. The moderators are also people who have dealt with or are dealing with adoption loss. The moderating team can delete, hide or block comments at their discretion, including but not limited to deleting member posts when such posts are determined to be in conflict with these guidelines or blocking individuals altogether.
Moderators can and will suspend accounts if a poster is not respecting others or not contributing constructively in the spirit of the community. A warning will be given to any regular member before an account is blocked.
If you have a question or concern about a moderating decision or how the board is run you can send a personal message to the page or send an email through our website. Do not use the original thread or any other forum to question or debate moderating decisions as this is a further distraction from the original thread topic.
Note that personal messages and requests sent to moderators, admins and the site owner regarding the operation of the CUB Facebook page are shared with the other board and team members. After an initial acknowledgment, a consensus will be reached among the leadership team prior to a response being made or action being taken.