Because we want as many people as possible to learn about the realities of adoption, family separation and reunion from those of us who have lived them, many of our members and leaders volunteer their time to speak to community groups. However, CUB is not a search organization. We may suggest reliable searchers and let members know of other search groups in their area. We believe our most important service is providing emotional support during search and reunion, and we help searchers learn how to be sensitive to others’ needs as they plan for contact and reunion. Members who are not close to a branch receive support and information through our newsletters, emails and phone calls with CUB leaders and members.
Many CUB members work to promote legislative and social policy changes to require all families, including single-parent families, be fully informed of the services available and assisted in keeping their families together.
Some parents, even with support, may not feel capable of raising their children. When adoption is their best option, we encourage an arrangement that functions as a humane and caring alternative — not a punishment.
Many agencies arrange open adoptions. It benefits adoptees and adoptive parents to be able to answer medical questions doctors ask with the assurance that up-to-date answers are available. Adoptive parents can reassure their children that their birthparents are loving people. Many adoptive parents feel that knowing the birthparents as people gives them freedom from unwarranted fears. Knowing their child’s history allows them to help their children grow into whole people whose backgrounds are accepted facts instead of frightening fantasies.
By denying adoptees knowledge of their origins, our society treats adults as eternal children. Like all citizens, adoptees have the right to know their histories. But in states with sealed records, they can never reach an age when the law protects their right to know who they are. CUB supports the unrestricted access of adopted people to their original birth records. Access to the truth about one’s identity and origins is a fundamental human right. (Learn more about our stands on related issues here: Position Papers)
A temporary lack of resources – not a lack of love – is often the reason birthparents surrender their parental rights. If parents are unable to raise their children, they should have a say in who will. Denying loving parents knowledge of their children, even when those children become adults, is a cruel and unnecessary punishment that causes suffering for all. A severing of parental rights does not cut off a parent’s love.
Many CUB members live with the pain of being separated from family members and living in incomplete families. The circumstances leading to the surrender of a child are often temporary and can be overcome with caring support. A temporary lack of finances or support should not be a reason for a loving parent and child to be separated. To prevent unnecessary separations, members have welcomed young mothers and their children into their homes. By providing temporary support, we have been able to help vulnerable young families overcome temporary difficulties so they could be strong, healthy, positive families. CUB members eagerly share their own situations and feelings with young parents-to-be and their families. to help anyone dealing with an unplanned pregnancy make a decision in full knowledge of their alternatives.